May 17

May 17 5 Steps to Feel More Accomplished -- Why you feel like you’re spinning your wheels and getting nowhere

You’re independent.
You’ve always been a high-performer.
You continue to push yourself in so many ways.
And for the most part, you’ve been successful.

Yet, you find yourself working so hard, feeling like you’re spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast…

You’re not where you want to be yet.

Can I just say, how many times I have laid on my couch in tears feeling this same way...

From the deepest place in my heart, I know how frustrating it is to be in it, doing the work, showing up, pushing yourself, and feeling like nothing’s working. Desperately wanting to throw in the towel, but being pulled by the enormous amounts of time, money, and energy you’ve already invested into it.

Sometimes, it’s not quite as heavy. You’re not in tears, but instead, you find yourself feeling like something is missing.

Once you hit 10,000 followers…
Once you get that first client…
Once you hit 6-figures…
Once you ________________ (fill in the blank)...

THEN. Then you’ll be successful.

Then you’ll feel great about all the work you’ve been doing -- then it will all pay off.

The Big Mistake

If you found yourself nodding along to this or yelling at the screen, “That’s me!” Listen up.

(Plus, if you’re a 3 on the Enneagram like me, this is you to a T.)

It’s not actually the goal (or any goal for that matter) that is going to give you the FEELING you’re searching for.

Don’t get me wrong, I want you to set these goals. Hell, I want you to set huge goals, goals that scare the hell out of you and have the courage to go after them!

Because it’s really not about the goal itself.

Something I’d Wished I’d Known Sooner

Before I share this with you, please just hear me out. Because if you are finding yourself in this, know that this was, first-hand, my own lesson that turned out to be one of the biggest breakthroughs of my personal and professional journey.

I had always done well in school, was promoted as one of the youngest managers in my retail career, went on to land the corporate job I wanted, jumped fields, married the love of my life, started not one but three businesses from the ground up…

Yet, I struggled with feeling like I wasn’t good enough.

I had massive goals for my businesses. So many goals and dreams to grow to the next level, hit different metrics, and make an impact in the world. But it was a very slow start.

I was working so hard, learning all the things, investing in myself, asking for help, but it didn’t feel like enough.

In a year’s time, there were three different times I wanted so badly just to throw in the towel.

If I’m being totally honest, there were times I would think of how much easier it would have been if I had just stayed at my day job where I worked my hours and got paid the same amount every other week.

But I knew that I deeply wanted to make this work, as frustrating as it was.

So after taking three days off after burnout got the best of me, I started, yet again, toward the goal.

The Real Result

First of all, the feeling of not feeling good enough is at the core of many different challenges. Why we don’t prepare for things we know we should. Why we procrastinate on doing the tasks we know we need to. And so on.

If you’ve struggled with this and imposter syndrome, you’ll also want to read my article, 7 Steps to Overcome Imposter Syndrome.

But this was more, and deeper, than imposter syndrome.

In every step along the way -- all of the things I’d accomplished up to this point -- I wasn’t fully giving myself credit for what I’d already achieved.

I wasn’t allowing myself to FEEL the accomplishment.

High performers and high achievers alike often have this same problem. There is always going to be a new goal -- a bigger and better goal that you will want to work toward.

The problem in this is, by the time you actually reach the first goal, you’re already working toward the next goal.

As we continue this pattern, over and over again, we find ourselves on this constant treadmill of always working hard for the next goal without taking the time to give ourselves credit for the achievements we’ve made along the way and FEEL the sense of accomplishment we’re truly looking for.

Ask yourself: Why do you set goals in the first place?

To achieve that result? Sure.

But why? What does that result actually give you?

Pride.
Accomplishment.
Fulfillment.
Happiness.
Peace.

It’s less about the goal itself and more about the feeling you actually desire, and overall the person you become in the process.

5 Steps to Feel More Accomplished

1) Set the Goal.

What do you want to achieve? The most important part here is you have to know exactly what you want and get very clear what success in this goal looks like. How many times have you set new year’s resolutions to eat healthier, exercise more, earn more money in your business, or read more books this year, just to fall off the bandwagon and end up despising setting any goals? This is the most common problem -- and this probably isn’t new to you.

The problem with this is we’re setting ourselves up for failure by not being super clear what the success will actually look like. What does it mean to eat healthier? What will it look like to exercise more? How will you know when you’ve actually achieved the goal? When you set goals like this (more and better), you have no way to know when you’ve actually reached your success or what you’re really working for to begin with, which is why you quickly fall off the bandwagon.

When setting your goal, be specific. What will success look like? How can you measure it or how will you know when you get there? If you’ve never heard of S.M.A.R.T. Goals, read this article to learn how you can best set your goals.

2) Create an Action Plan.

This is where most people get stuck spinning their wheels. You have to know what steps you’re going to take to move the needle forward on the goal. How are you going to make this happen? If your goal is to eat healthy 6 days per week so you can lose 10 pounds, this might look like meal planning on Sundays for the week ahead so you can go to the store, get the right foods, and outline your daily meals. Mapping out each of the tasks you need to do so you can move closer toward the goal.

For bigger goals, you may not know exactly everything you need to do in order to make it happen. So what can you do to figure it out? Who can you talk to for advice or thoughts? How can you open yourself up to new opportunities to move you closer?

3) Set a Baseline.

In order to see progress, you have to have a starting point. (Ideally) Before you start working toward the goal, identify your starting point. If you’re working to grow your business, how many clients and revenue are you bringing in now? If you want to lose 20 pounds, what is your current weight?

One note here, having some sort of qualitative results to measure is helpful to physically see (in numbers) proof that you are making progress. But not all progress is going to be as easy to measure. Especially in business, know that many of your strategies are going to take time for you to actually notice any progress. Although this can be frustrating, it is normal. (I’m going to explain this more in the next step.)

4) Give Yourself Credit Where Credit is Due.

DO NOT TAKE THIS STEP LIGHTLY.

Some goals are going to be easier and quicker than others to start seeing progress and results. Again, this can be frustrating when you’re doing the work, staying consistent, and not yet seeing any results. This is where I got stuck wanting to throw in the towel and making a mistake -- don’t be like me in the story I told you above.

Side note, if one of your goals is business-related, this step is going to be the most crucial for you. Any strategy you implement in order to hit your goals, know that these typically take roughly 90-days to actually start seeing results. You already know that it’s not going to happen overnight, but please let go of the expectation that big results are going to happen in just a few days or sometimes even weeks. Yes, there are always anomalies to this, but new strategies and marketing take time.

With anything, you have to be consistent, and in that, THIS is where you need to start recognizing yourself and giving yourself the most credit. The steps you make each day and every time you decide to show up and be consistent with your action plan, that is progress. Each day you show up for yourself, especially if you are not seeing results yet, your primary focus is to give yourself credit that you are doing the work and celebrating yourself because of that. Otherwise, the process of working toward any goal is always going to feel hard, frustrating, and defeating. The more you feel this way in the process, the more likely you are to give up.

5) Take Time in Celebration.

It is very normal -- even expected -- that once you are close to or have achieved one goal, you set the next bigger and better goal. Honestly, this is your superpower as a high achiever! You are forever growing and pushing yourself to a better version of you.

BUT, you have to take real time to actually celebrate yourself for achieving the goal you’ve been working toward and allow yourself to FEEL the accomplishment.

Ideally, before you reach the goal, decide how you’re going to celebrate -- this will also help you anchor that excitement of the celebration to help you continue to be consistent and move forward. Then, take the time to enjoy it.

One more note on celebrations, every time you celebrate yourself doesn’t mean it has to take a lot of time or cost you money -- this is a common misconception. Sure, you could choose to celebrate by going out to dinner, treating yourself with a new purchase, or booking a weekend getaway. But not every celebration has to cost money. In fact, just like setting the goal, it’s less about the type of celebration itself and more about you giving yourself the time and space to fully feel the accomplishment -- take it all in and enjoy it.

I promise you, regardless of your goal, when you focus on the feeling and these steps for your goals, you will feel more motivated, accomplished, and overall happier with yourself in the process.